Guest
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New memberHey im a new member i go to school with Tom Jake Adam and Luke. Tom is very embarassed that i am doing this.
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Jimbo
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New memberThere is no need to be embarrassed. 
Having a new member is nothing to be embarrassed about.  The operation does sound painful though.
Good to see you using the board. Hopefully it can be used as a way to keep communications up and going outside of the weekends.
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QUINBO
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hello roomie great to see new people using the site, your be pleased that i have taken caps lock of for this  anyway great picture in the echo hope that mr bumble is going ok see at the game saturday.
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Katie88
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Good luck for the weekend ill hear all about it from Adam and Tom in english on Monday and see the war wounds!!!
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Jimbo
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Quinbo woz ere.Roomie. It is good to see you on the site as well, and not shouting at everybody. 
Mr B went very well, and judging by the write ups, the reviewers enjoyed it as well. And a financial success for the society, to boot.
I shall be at the club Saturday (first for three weeks due to commitments of the show.
And just remember -
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FMG (ret.)
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Mr. Hearns, Mr. French, Rt. Hon. Piggin Pig and toga clad court!I have it on good authority that Mr. Hearns and Mr. French stole, extorted and pillaged the sum of two english pounds from a poor officer of the club a few weeks ago...is this true?
Justice Jimbo...this club needs a court...how's January 28th as a date for you?! Double home vs broadland, Toga party and tour mayhem! I think with the amount of new players and tour virgins, we'll need a bench of magistrates...you and me and Piggin Pig make three!
kind regards
FMG (ret.)
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Jimbo
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I have heard of nothing more heinous than this crime described here, and unless we get a few Dutchmen up at the club to hit, i am afraid they will be "banged to rights" and justly so. 
I say why wait till the 28th for a crime of this nature. There is a VP day on the 10th. They should not enjoy a Christmas with this crime having been committed. (It also reduces the chance of a Cloggy being clogged)
Rumour has it that on the 28th, said Judge Advocate will be "On The Stage". Typically the first out of town.
However, a tub of lard could be sent as a back up judge. Possibly might not be able to distinguish between the two, except the tub of lard might talk sense. 
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Guest
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I wont tell them whats going on ill just get the details off Tom. What exactly have you got in mind for them?? All of that was as clear as mud to me!!
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Katie88
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That was me who wrote that but for some reason it didnt keep me logged in 
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Jimbo
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Ah Ha, Katie88. (Is that metric?)
To go before a specially convened tour court, with Judges advocat and Piggin Pig, is an experience not to be missed - for the people watching.
Courts are held on tour, as people do things on tour that need to be "Dealt with" in a very firm manner. Sentences from a slow death, to running naked round the pitch have been passed. Normally severe and ultimate retribution is passed and the person is fined to within an inch of their life.
That is on tour.
However, sometimes misdemeanours take place where a very rare extraordinary court takes place. This is extremely rare and usually gets the full rath of the judges (and Piggin Pig) who will show no mercy.
Just let them know that sentence, when passed, will be quick, and painful.
Judge Advocat General.
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Bergs
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Peace and Justice...Sounds good to me.... justice should be quick fair and seen to be done (King John, Magna Carta, 1215)!
Let court begin on the 10th, we'll have a chat about it tomorrow...
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Jimbo
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I can't make it at 12:15. Will 2 O'clock be okay?
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Bergs
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Crimes and punishmentLet's make it 5 pm and split the difference!
The court is the oldest and most respected of rugby traditions...besides playing, of course.
As our esteemed friend, Justice Jimbo points out, some crimes simply can't wait until tour, so we're forced, at great expense and personal inconvenience, to open a session of court in between tours to deal with foul crimes, such as theft of two english pounds, for example.
I'm sure the lads will get a fair trial, and the judges, whomever they may be, will be leniant...!
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Jimbo
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Good idea. 3:30 it is then.
Typically, in my experience, judges called out to work between tours normally do so with "black caps" on.
I am sure that they will be leniant.
HaHaHa he says in the villanous voice so used to the pantomime circuit we could be there now.
Perhaps Quinbo could act as defence. He knows how to get off of charges.
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Jimbo
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PS, I am two ahead of you now.
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Katie88
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It all sounds very scary im gald im not the one in the wrong!!!
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Jimbo
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Nothing to worry aboutNo problem. It's swift and painless (well mostly)
They will remember it forever.
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Katie88
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Adam and Jake kept asking me what you had planned I stayed stoom dont worry!! Hehe
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Jimbo
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Good ideaIt is good to keep quiet. Let Adam and Jake sweat for a bit. T minus 19 days, 1 hour and 10 minutes and counting.
Piggin Pig is so excited, he can not wait, but i have told him he has to.
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Guest
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Hehe This is going to be good i want to see it happen!!
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Jimbo
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It is
T minus 17 days, 3 hours and 50 minutes and counting.
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Flanners
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I believe we are going to a kit inspection at the court too!
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Jimbo
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Kit InspectionNow ain't that a great idea. Not had one of those in court for ages.
Just been in touch with Piggin Pig, he thinks this is a great idea too. He like to inspect the kit, just before sentence. He says it can make a lot of difference as to what angle he wears the black cap at.
Good to see Piggin Pig is being as open minded to the evidence as usual. Piggin Pig has also spoken about certain people who conducted a "Hog Roast" earlier on this season.
He is still a bit taken aback about this whole incident, but hope uncle Tobias tasted good. However, he feels that the perpetrators of the said act, might, and should have something to say to the court on the matter. He was going to wait until tour, but obviously, as he now has the forum to deal with the act, would like to bring this out as well, especially as his cap will be neatly ironed for the day.
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lord lucan
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crime commited : mistaken identityi would just like to make the point that the hog roast was in fact not a pig but in fact a large tasmanian devel killed by the local fukarwee tribe, this is also considered a delicacy in some foriegn shores and was shipped at great expense ! it was done in the interest of the club as a pre season bonding exercise thanking the players for there commitment in training and welcoming new and old players to the fold . i just felt i had to make this point because even though it was not my idea i did in fact help in the cooking and preperation and will not disclose the man whose idea it was as jake the snake is a good friend and i dont want to get him in trouble  !
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Katie88
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Does this take some of the presure off the boys because they were asking me again today whats happening they are actually quite scared!!
Lord Lucan are you the same Lord Lucan as the one on the Falcons forum its a long shot i know but just thought i'd ask!
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Jimbo
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NopeThis does not take any pressure off the boys. It just means they will have company on the scaffold, that's all.
As for Lord Lucan, Piggin Pig thinks this is a rouse  to try to detract from the fact that something that looked like Uncle Tobias and smelt like uncle Tobias, was in fact uncle Tobias and not a relative of Taz, that lovable cartoon creature.
Two Jakes in a day. Piggin Pig can not wait. T minus 15 days, 10 hours exactly.
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Katie88
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Scaffold I want more details!!
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Jimbo
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Scaffold60's pop group dear.
Lilly the pink, Thank you very much for the Aintree Iron, to name but two of their great hits. Used to have a TV programme as well. (That is television, not the other sort of TV)
Does that clear things up?
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Guest
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The Hog RoastingWith this hog roast thing i was informed that Mr Apple Ass did not know know Piggin Pig.
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Jimbo
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Rememer NurembergPleading ignorance, or "I was only following orders" will not wash with Piggin Pig. 
He has studied all the law books, and watches the histroy Channel.
He knows about Nuremberg and the fact that following orders (similar to pleading ignorance) was not considered a defence and that the perpetrators of said heinous crimes we "banged to rights".
Piggin Pig has heard there are pictures of some of these crimes. He would like these submitted as evidence.
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lord lucan
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hog roastsurely if said people are accussed of cooking a relation of his excellency Piggin Pig then it must stand to reason that those wonderful people who cook for the players on a saturday afternoon should also stand trail for cooking sausages and im sure ive even seen jimbo up the club with a bacon sandwich in hand and if he tries to deny this i can give a list of witnesses ! im not trying to strike a deal or anything i just want a fair trial for everyone .
p.s. can anyone shed anylight on the rumour that Piggin Pig studied at hogwarts and was a close friend to harry trotter ? 
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IanS
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Sausages do not contain the forbidden meat!Has anyone seen anything resembling any sort of meat in the fare provided for the players on a Saturday afternoon?
Not at 2p each they haven't.
CASE DISMISSED
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Jimbo
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In cognitoBacon and sausages, whilst probably having a relationship to Piggin Pig are not a obviously a relation as a 4 foot long hog, with legs and tail, being slowly spit roasted only 20 foot from where Piggin Pig was looking out from. Food cooked round the corner in the kitchenette and slapped between a couple of bit of bread is neither here nor there for Piggin Pig. Besides, he does not often look that way, he is still transfixed to where his Uncle was so brutally consumed by flame.
And as the webmaster suggests case dismissed on this one, Piggin Pig also agrees.
There is another fact that Piggin Pig has just pointed out. Lord lucan refered to the "P" word in his post, although directly not referring to Piggin Pig, the inference was there that Piggin Pig is in fact a "P" word.
Was this deliberate of lord Lucan, or just an abberation?
Should Lord Lucan be bought to trial for this? Is there anything else we could try Lord Lucan for? - Murder 1st degree, failing to turn up at court, failure to keep dentist appointemnt - failure to return library books, are just a few i can think of to add here.
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COMC
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Pop UpsWhile we're all talking about heinous crimes and capital punishment, can the webbie shed any light as to why the pop ups above the message board during the uncle tobias porcine or tasmanian debate have all been for local hog roast companies?
Rather unpleasant business but from a commercial point of view probably acceptable if the club is on an earner from it!
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Bergs
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Charges list and hearsayNot the band, you fools!
I think the Clerk to the Court, the Judges, Defence, Prosecution, Jailor and, of course, our dear Piggin Pig, need a little chinwag to agree how best to proceed..how about after the game and before the xmas party on the 3rd?
Any more idle gossip about these alleged cases and we'll have all charges thrown out on prejudice...not a good start to a touring year!
Don't forget the black caps
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Katie88
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I hear that nothing happened in the end! 
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Guest
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Nothing Happened?Oh it did, believe me.
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Guest
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Ok
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